Hi guys! I have written a draft for my study plan, but it seems a bit incomplete. Thank you for the time you are taking to review my essay!
Here is the prompt:
1.Study plan - goal of study, title or subject of research, detailed study plan.
2.Future plan - plan in Korea or another country after studying in Korea.
Here it is:
Goal of study
We are hustlers. We pride ourselves in this identity. It is also a sort of motivation to live, but I think that is part of the problem. Everyone is in the race for themselves. It's called getting a share(MY share) of the national cake. Every problem I can think of that we have (as a country) stems from this. It is this mindset I'd like to change.
Growing up, when I thought about South Korea, I thought about her in relation to the DMZ and the cease fire agreement, but around 2011, my perception began to shift . Suddenly, Korea became a country with beautiful cities, the fastest internet in the world and technological advances.
It isn't just in my mind this shift occurred in, but also in the minds of millions of people evidenced by the increasing number of people trooping into Korea yearly. I believe the media has/had a huge role in making that happen. It is this role I'd like to study.
Title or subject of research
My research will use the qualitative method. I aim to understand how the media has influenced perception of Korea and the methods by which the media strategy used by Korea can be adapted for use by other countries.
In this research, I intend to focus on industry insiders, influencers, leaders,basically all the people behind the scenes as research has shown that the success or failure of the industry hinges on them . I intend to understand if the success of the industry was planned or unplanned. I plan to include a detailed narrative of responses given by foreigners that are/have been attracted to Korea.
By the end of my research, I intend to have answered questions like, what was the big idea/goal and vision behind the branding of the Korean media. What identity and message was pushed. How is/was the identity re-inforced. Who was the target audience. How was the need for the product created/influenced etc. I intend to have a basic adaptable plan of how media can be used to influence perception/ mindset.
Detailed Study Plan
My very first year in Korea will be all about learning Korean and getting adjusted in Korea. I am excited about this since I already have an interest in the korean language.
In my first school year, I will focus mainly on familiarizing myself with the basics of media and communications. I do not have a background in media and communications, so I plan to learn the basics through personal study and extra classes in addition to the necessary course work. I believe this is necessary to acquire the knowledge I need to carry out a good research.
My 2nd year is where I plan to enter the media industry to observe and meet all the people necessary for my research. It is this year I also intend to finish all my course work.
My decision to study in Korea was not only hinged on research, but also getting an open mind. I believe an open mind is a necessary requirement for success, so I intend to take advantage of the opportunity given to fully immerse myself in my environment.
After my study in Korea, I intend to work for 2-3 more years. The reason for this is, media industries are notorious for being hard to conquer and while I believe I will acquire the necessary materials for my research and form a basic plan in the given time, I also believe that extra understudy needs to be done to fine tune my plan and make it as exhaustive as it can be. I believe the knowledge I have gotten during my masters will put me in a better position to understand the intricacies of the industry and thus improve my work. As a person of African heritage, I believe that I can bring with me insight that can help the media industry better understand the African audience if/when they do decide to expand to Africa.
After this period, I intend to return to my country where I will enter the media industry. I will begin to implement my plan in areas I have jurisdiction and gradually expand implementation as I climb the ladder.
Tracy, you have taken a hugely informal tone in the writing of this essay. It does not show a lot of respect towards the reviewer. You do know that Koreans are very big on respecting people in authority right? This essay doesn't really display that much respect. It is too relaxed and casual. Always remember to show respect towards the reader and be academic at all times. The KGSP essays are all formally written and do not take the same liberties as the western university applications allow for certain prompts.
Don't divide your essay into sections as you have now. You need to present the essay as a free flowing but interconnected series of discussion points. That means, you need to include transition sentences at the end of your paragraphs in order to prepare your reader for the upcoming change in discussion topic.
Your goal of study is unclear. I think this is because you spent too much time trying to make it seem like the course you are interested in is something that comes very easy to you. Focus more on presenting the explanation regarding the goal of your studies and why these goals are important to you and your career. The introduction you wrote doesn't help you achieve that. In fact, your presentation of your study goals are not impressive nor informative at all. Focus on the purpose of the study goal. Don't talk about how we are all hustlers and stuff like that. Think of the title of your research proposal, the thesis statement it wishes to respond to, and what you hope the outcome of that research will be instead.
As for the detailed study plan, start with your second year in Korea instead. Assume that you passed the TOPIK qualifying exam so you were allowed to continue with your studies in Korea. Delve on a discussion that explains how you will use the opportunity to create industry networks that will help you complete your research studies and also allow you to create contacts that could help you improve the entertainment industry in your own country upon your return.
For your future plans, don't be so negative in your discussion. Discuss instead, how you plan to gain full employment in Korea for 3-5 years in order to add to your training. Explain why you believe that this period of employment is important to your future plans upon your return to Africa. Don't call it "understudy" because you will have completed your studies by then.
When applying to any school, whether it’s undergraduate or graduate, you will always be required to submit one or more written documents. The purpose of these documents is to allow the admissions committee to find out more about the students on a personal level. Looking at your test scores, credentials, class rank, and similar data is not enough. There are thousands of students applying from all over the world with similar application to yours. Therefore, your writing is arguably more important than anything else you submit, as it gives you the chance to express what makes you stand out from the rest of the applicants.
However, different schools ask for different formats, and this tends to confuse students, which leads to off-topic writing. Writing off-topic, no matter how creative and special your story is, could lead to an automatic filtering by the admissions committee because you have failed to read the requirements and deliver what they are asking for.
Let’s look at the differences individually.
Statement of Purpose (SOP) – Just by looking at the title, we should already know that this paper is focused on your purpose, or the reasons why you want to study a particular course/major at this university. Usually, schools will assign what they call “prompts,” which are focused questions which you need to answer in detail. Failure to answer the question automatically marks you as an unfit candidate. It is very important to direct your response to the particular questions at hand. Don’t go off topic and start talking in detail about your past achievements, hopes, or dreams. Effective SOP writing discusses your career plan and future goals. This must be well thought out, as it takes focus and determination to pursue a degree, especially if you are applying for a master’s or doctorate degree. The admissions committee wants to see how well organized and prepared you are. Your readers need to know that you are serious about the degree program. They do not want slackers; they want well-defined research interests. A well-written SOP formally expresses the candidate’s background (education, interests, credentials, etc.), but the candidate does not brag. The candidate explains in detail his or her desire to gain acceptance into the program of choice.
Personal Statement – The keyword “personal” already tells you how different this is from an SOP. Here is your chance to show off what you have accomplished in your academics, any major skills you have, and any extracurricular activities in which you have participated. In this paper, you have the chance to represent yourself to stand out from the other students; you have the freedom to talk about anything and everything in your life, as long as it is relevant to the program to which you are applying. A common mistake with this type of document is that some applicants have too much to say, and they do not know how to choose relevant details or transition fluidly from idea to idea. Jumping from one story to another in one paragraph will put off the admissions committee, so organize your thoughts in advance. Plan what you want to write and structure your essay logically. Most importantly, don’t lie! The best personal statements are straightforward, reflective, and honest, so don’t overthink the task. Just express yourself.
Study Plan – A study plan is just another way some schools around the world, particularly in Asia, refer to a personal statement/SOP. They are looking to learn about your personality, past achievements, present roles, and future goals. There may be a shorter word limit for a study plan or no limit at all, depending on each individual school’s guidelines. When you are reading through the requirements, pay special attention to what the school is asking for so that you can focus the essay accordingly. If you do research on how to write a study plan, notice that the term “study plan” can also refer to a planned schedule to help students prepare for tests and exams. For instance, some students make study plans or schedules to determine how many words per day they should review for the SAT, GRE, or TOEFL. However, this use of the term “study plan” is unrelated to the application essay, so make sure you do not confuse these two meanings. One way to avoid confusion is to read about personal statements and use those guidelines instead.
To simplify the differences, you can think of them this way. An SOP describes why you want to attend a university while offering some details about your fit for the program, whereas a personal statement or study plan is all about representing yourself, your skills and accomplishments, and why this university should choose you.